I have never been one to hold others baby’s. In fact, there are very few people whose kids I actually like, and most of them are family members. That being said, I know why I like… LOVE… holding my baby. She’s mine. I carried her, I have a scar to prove she came out of me, I nurse her every three minutes (some days it seems like that), I put her to sleep, and she stops crying when I put her in my arms.
What’s interesting to me is that my Mother in Law, likes to let others hold my baby. She’d let the whole world hold her if I let her.
Anxiety set in.
I am pretty mellow and don’t get to bothered by much but this has been an interesting ride. Every chance she gets to have one of her friends over for dinner, she’ll invite them and us in order to meet little miss. Which is fine. But then she says “Let <insert name> hold her.” Why? Juniper doesn’t hold some magic power that will make this person life all better. She isn’t baby Jesus. She’s our normal, easy going, little person.
I had to say something.
MIL’s friends decided to throw us a ‘Sip and See’ party. We had dinner with one of the ladies’ who was planning it, and as they were talking to me about it MIL says “people will just be passing her around looking at her.”
I said “I don’t think she needs to get passed around. I get anxiety when people hold her. Even family members.” Which is partially true. I’ll save that for another post.
Then it seemed like a light bulb went on and she said “Oh my gosh! I can’t even believe it. You’re so right! I remember crying handing over Drew to people. I’m so sorry. We don’t have to pass her around.”
Obviously.
I know MIL wants to share our precious bundle of joy and she is one proud Nana, but passing a baby around has multiple effects on babies and their mothers. Here are a few I researched:
- Baby gets overstimulated
- Mother get over stimulated
- Neither sleeps from over-stimulation
- Baby has multiple perfumes on her and her clothes that are not appealing to baby and mother
In all seriousness… babies can get overwhelmed just like adults. They are little people who deserve to be respected and not passed around like a hot potato to strangers. It’s hard enough on their little brains to have multiple faces and voices looking and talking to them. Their little worlds are constantly changing and coming into focus and sometimes even the slightest change in schedule or new people around can throw them off. Just like adults.
At the sip and see I held Juniper. I also brought her piano play mat and when she was in a playful mood, I set her down and let them look at her while she played. I thought that was fair. My job is to protect my little one from many hands and faces and smells that don’t belong.
If you are having similar issues with family members, just know that it is perfectly acceptable to say something. Feelings may get hurt, and that’s okay. Just remember, you are your babies protector. Advocate. And most importantly, Mother. Until that baby can use her words, you speak for her.
Also, it’s totally okay for you to be selfish and be the one holding your baby. It’s your baby!
Anyone else have issues with people wanting to hold their baby and not wanting that to happen?
Thanks for stopping by!
XO Christina
Unexpectedly Expecting 